The Love Machine [1971]

THE LOVE MACHINE is an American melodrama that was directed by Jack Haley Jr and adapted from the novel by Jacqueline Susann.  It was originally released in August 1971 by Columbia.  It stars John Phillip Law, Robert Ryan, David Hemmings, Dyan Cannon, Jackie Cooper and Jodi Wexler.  Law is Robin Stone an amoral and ambitious TV reporter who becomes the protégé of IBC network chief Greg Austin (Ryan).  The film charts his meteoric and controversial career rise as well as his prolific sex life.

Blimey, where does one start with a film like this?  Probably with the source, in this case the original novel by the original bonkbuster author Jacqueline Susann.  Most famous for ‘Beyond the Valley of the Dolls’, Susann’s is not a name one hears much these days but she was staggeringly successful in the 60s and 70s.  I read a quote about her once, from Andrew Bergman, who said:

She had a miserable life.  But she was determined to be famous.  She willed herself to be famous.  That’s what she wanted.  She was a failed actress, a failed gameshow host.  She was a sort of joke until the novels.

Jacqueline Susann appears in an uncredited cameo as a news anchor

And that could go for one or two of the characters in THE LOVE MACHINE because they simply will do anything to be successful.  Robin Stone exploits women, his boss, his colleagues and the television viewing public: by the time he becomes Production executive he is peddling what even he recognises to be crap purely because he knows the public will settle for it.

Greg Austin and Robin Stone

The boardroom politics are of less interest to Susann, and this film, than Stone’s complicated love life.  His is introduced to an endless supply of beautiful young woman by his only true friend, the homosexual fashion photographer Jerry Nelson (Hemmings).  The first we meet is Amanda, a needy young woman who soon becomes in thrall to Stone’s mix of narcissist and ladies’ man.  He was a good looking lad was John Phillip Law so it’s easy to see why the women fall for him but the character is such a blank space you are left scratching your head as to why they become quite so besotted with him.  In turn that makes you wonder whether the woman are all stupid and once you start thinking that about the characters you realise the whole is meant to be taken as seriously as a lager commercial.

Supermodel 'Amanda'(Jodi Wexler) ...

... and publicity girl Maureen (Ethel Evans), falling for Robin Stone

For THE LOVE MACHINE is not a drama, or even a melodrama, as I have stated above; it is a fantasy.  Susann herself said:

I write for women who read me in the goddam subways on the way home from work.  I know who they are because that’s who I used to be …  But here’s the catch.  All the people they envy in my books, the ones who are glamorous, or beautiful, or rich, or talented – they have to suffer, see, because that way the people who read me can get off the subway and go home feeling better about their crappy lives.

That quote reinforces the film as fantasy: there are almost no scenes involving the general public, no interaction with the great unwashed.  The vast majority of interiors – and it is mainly interiors – are boardrooms, naturally, luxury flats and mansions; nightclubs; TV studios and so on.  That is to say, exclusive locations – the habitat of the rich and famous, not the man in the street.  Susann does in her novel precisely as she says in that quote: there are the characters and there are real people.  In other words, she isn’t striving for reality or even heightened reality – she is peddling fantasy, a fact reinforced by the outrageous / ridiculous costumes sported by Dyan Cannon and Jodi Wexler.

Dyan Cannon, suffering in leopardskin

Fantasy of a particularly lurid type, as it goes.  There is more face-slapping, hair-pulling, miaowing and drinking neat vodka than in almost any other film I’ve ever seen.  A lot of it is done by David Hemmings, perhaps the least recognisably human character in the film.  I accept that it was made a long time ago but his depiction of the homosexual fixer Jerry Nelson is outrageously bad by today’s standards and could well have been even then.  He is from the leering, arch, effeminate, innuendo-laden, mincing school of gay cinema that would be recognisable only to Bette Midler.  Not only that but “faggot” is used, liberally, as a term of abuse.  Greg Austin and his consigliere attempt to break Stone from his lucrative contract by invoking the morals clause; not because of his bed-hopping, oh no, driving women to suicide because of his infidelity is fine, as is, seemingly, beating up prostitutes, but any whiff of homosexuality and he’s be out on his ear.

Robin Stone and Jerry Nelson

I can’t believe I’m saying this but despite its awfulness, THE LOVE MACHINE is terrifically watchable; probably because of its awfulness.  I don’t mean that in a ‘it’s so inept it’s funny’, Ed Wood sort of way (a thing I don’t actually agree with), but rather that because it knows what it is and pursues that through to the absolute bitter end – and the final punch up has to be seen to be believed – it achieves a kind of purity.  

What other film can offer you David Hemmings bitch-slapping Dyan Cannon as John Phillip Law wrestle a homosexual in the background?

This is presumably why bonkbusters, or airport novels, call them what you will, sell by the bucketload: if they give you what you want and demand then they’re irresistible.

John Phillip Law looked every inch the movie star and is a perfect fit for this particular role. 

John Phillip Law as Robin Stone

Most of the rest of the time he wasn’t much cop, frankly, but his impassivity, bordering on the sociopathic, is Robin Stone to a tee.  As I watched him cavort in his immaculate penthouse apartment I couldn’t help but think of Patrick Bateman from Bret Easton Ellis’s revolting ‘American Psycho’ and ironically Law doesn’t look unlike Christian Bale from the 1997 film adaptation.  Apparently he was only cast at the last minute because another actor had a traffic accident; there wasn’t enough time to alter the costumes so allegedly one can see his cuffs are too short.  I didn’t spot that I must confess but it’s not the sort of thing I generally keep an eye out for.  In the right part, as here, Law was good – such as the blind angel Pygar in BARBARELLA, or the superhero Diabolik in Mario Bava’s DANGER DIABOLIK [both 1968], and Sinbad in THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD [1973].  There’s a pattern there no?  Supermen.  And that’s what he looked like.

Law in THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD

From the mid-70s onwards the star began to wane and, like a lot of good-looking second-string actors, he went to Europe and made lots of genre movies.  When, particularly, Italian exploitation cinema faded away he moved back to the States and started appearing in the American equivalent, which in practice means people like Fred Olen Ray.  Now, I don’t mind Fred Olen Ray, I think his films are entertaining for the most part but when an actor finds himself appearing in them it’s pretty much curtains – I’m talking titles such as ALIENATOR and SPACE MUTINY.  It’s weird to think that there is only one degree of separation between Ray and one of my all-time heroes Robert Ryan, who in THE LOVE MACHINE delivers a professional if uninspired performance.

Robert Ryan as Greg Austin and Dyan Cannon as his wife Judith

David Hemmings is another actor I like, not so much because he was a great actor but because he made interesting films.  He is most famous of course as the iconic star of Michelangelo Antonioni's classic BLOW-UP [1966], a role he was apparently lucky to get and in which he played another photographer.  However, like Terence Stamp, who I believe was also considered, he just had that 60s look that was perfect for the role.  He lost his lean physique and good looks quite early on for a movie and pretty quickly was playing second lead parts, such as he does here.  Perhaps that's why his thoughts turned to direction at a much earlier stage than most actors, if they ever do.  He made JUST A GIGOLO [1978], the David Bowie film that was reviewed on this site almost exactly a year ago, just after Bowie's untimely passing.

David Hemmings as Jerry Nelson

Among Stone's conquests are former Playboy Playmate Claudia Jennings who became a reasonably successful actress after her glamour model beginnings, especially in B movies - specifically hicksploitation (love that word) such as GATOR BAIT [1974], MOONSHINE EXPRESS and THE GREAT TEXAS DYNAMITE CHASE [both 1977].  Tragically, Jennings died in a car crash aged just 29.  Stone was also fortunate enough to bed two more Playmates in sisters Mary and Madeleine Collinson who were less successful in the movie business, being limited to a handful of dolly bird roles including the Hammer vampire flick TWINS OF EVIL [1972].

You don’t need me to tell you who Jack Haley Jr’s more famous father was so I won’t bother.  Suffice it to say that Jr carved out a reasonably successful Hollywood career as a producer, no doubt thanks to Dad’s contacts.  As a director of features, as far as I can tell he only made a couple, of which THE LOVE MACHINE was the second.  The DP was Charles Lang who was 69 when he shot this film and for most of the shoot probably wondered what the hell had happened to the movie business.  He won an Oscar in 1932 for A FAREWELL TO ARMS and when his Paramount contract ended he shot a lot of bid-budget productions for various studios, including some real belters like THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN [1960], Marlon Brando’s one and only directorial effort ONE-EYED JACKS [1961]and the Cinerama feature HOW THE WEST WAS WON [1962].  One final technical note: the theme song is performed by Dionne Warwick who is inexplicably billed as Dionne Warwicke.

Doh.

Ice Palace [1960]

ICE PALACE is an American drama that was directed by Vincent Sherman and originally released by Warner Brothers in January 1960.  It stars Richard Burton, Robert Ryan and Carolyn Jones, with supporting turns from Jim Backus, George Takei and Shirley Knight.  It's a tale of a kind of love quadrangle, of friendship turned to hate, set against the backdrop of the fight for Alaskan statehood.

Like GIANT [1956], this was adapted from a novel by Edna Ferber.  I'm not sure she is read much these days; if the films are anything to go by she seemed interested in larger-than-life characters feeling strong but simple emotions.  I'm not saying she was Mills & Boon level, nor particularly sensationalist but I suspect these were populist page-turners.  I mean, look at some of the names of her characters: in this movie the two leads are Zeb Kennedy and Thor Storm; in GIANT we have the likes of Jett Rink and Vashti Snythe; in SO BIG [1953] Pervis DeJong and Dallas O'Mara; in SHOW BOAT [1951] Magnolia Hawks and Gaylord Ravenal.  These are Jackie Collins-type names and that means these tales are difficult to take seriously; not that there is much to take seriously anyway.  Once you accept that what you're watching is melodrama then there's a lot to enjoy.  Well, perhaps not "a lot" but something anyway.

Robert Ryan (L) and Richard Burton (R)

First of all, and probably the only reason I watched it at all, you get Burton and Ryan, two of my favourite actors.  ICE PALACE is one of the very few films in which Burton actually has some action scenes; it's odd to see him getting in to punch-ups or working on a trawler because, as I've said before, in his later films he became increasingly wooden, physically.  It clearly didn't come naturally to him and he's not great at it but it does at least provide a contrast with the immobile bulk he became.  And let's not forget he was a very handsome guy in his younger days (he was 34 when he made this) and that, combined with his incredible voice, was what established him as a proper movie star.

Richard Burton as Zeb Kennedy

I don't think I've had the pleasure of writing about a Robert Ryan picture before on these pages.  I'm surprised I haven't because he is probably my all-time favourite actor.  There are many reasons I like him but the main three are that he was a fine actor with a wide range; he consistently made excellent films; and he was a man of integrity with strong social and political convictions.

Robert Ryan as Thor Storm

It has been said before that his off screen persona was often at odds with some of the reprehensible characters he played and it's true that he had plenty of roles as despicable bigots, perhaps most famously in John Sturges' BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK [1955] but most significantly in Edward Dmytryk's CROSSFIRE [1947].  I say "significantly" because it was a landmark film for Ryan in several ways: in career terms it was a breakthrough for him; it identified him with the public as a 'bad guy', in this case a rabid anti-Semite; and it brought him to the attention of HUAC.

Ryan had enlisted in the US Marine Corps and served as a fitness instructor in San Diego.  Ryan's biographer, Franklin Jarlett (whose excellent book you can buy here), speculates that it was this experience - of seeing injured and broken men return to the US, of feeling that he had personally contributed to the "killing machine" - which led him to become a pacifist.  This stance, along with his contribution to the perceived liberal principles of CROSSFIRE, is what made him known to HUAC.

Ironically, since it was the source of his pacifism, it was Ryan's service career that saved him from further investigation.  Typically, the black-or-white generalisations of McCarthy and his cronies saw anyone who had served as beyond reproach.  However, other talents who worked on the film were not as fortunate: director Dmytryk was briefly jailed before he ratted out his former friends and colleagues; producer Adrian Scott was blacklisted and made only one other feature film in his lifetime.

I don't want to go on at length about Ryan's personal beliefs - this is after all a cinema blog, not a political one - but his philosophy, if one can call it such, seems to me to be an integral part of what informed his acting choices.  He was an active member of the ACLU; he established a co-operative school, Oakwood, which taught a liberal curriculum and was once vandalised for raising the United Nations flag; he campaigned alongside Adlai Stevenson during the 1952 US Presidential election and supported the anti-war Eugene McCarthy (no relation) for Democrat nomination in 1968.

Maybe it's because he held himself to such high personal standards that he was able to imbue these villainous characters with bitter self-loathing that makes them understandable, credible yet repellent.  For me, this all comes together in the character of turncoat Deke Thornton in Sam Peckinpah's THE WILD BUNCH [1969].  Self-disgust is written all over the face of a man who has betrayed his own code and his own friends in order to survive.

As Deke Thornton in THE WILD BUNCH

I'm not sure where ICE PALACE fits in to this context.  Ryan plays against type to an extent as Thor Storm is basically the good guy: betrayed not betrayer; fighting for his fishermen colleagues and the rights of the Alaskan people more broadly.  However, the films begins with a dreadful sub-Ayn Rand prologue about how it is the manifest destiny of brawny men to inherit the earth and ends with a cringe-inducing epilogue inviting all Americans to rape as much of their land as they can before anyone else beats them to it.  If this is a 'liberal' message it is the (relatively) moderate rugged individualism of the Republican right; it has nothing to do with the true liberalism espoused by Robert Ryan.

Beautiful Alaska...

...and the not so beautiful.  But still, it's there so fill yer boots!

He's great to watch, as is Burton, but the film doesn't work as a whole. The script is too shallow for the dramas being played out: I lost count of the number of women who die in childbirth.  The production itself which with a canvas as broad as Alaska you'd expect to be stunning is instead mainly set-bound and artificial.  Beyond Burton, Ryan, Jones and Backus the supporting cast is made up of blandly good looking guys and gals most of whom make very little impression.

Carolyn Jones as Bridie Ballatyne

However, it does do one thing exceptionally well and that is the relationship between Zeb, Thor and Bridie (Carolyn Jones).  The torment felt by all three characters is palpable and a credit to the actors because that emotion certainly doesn't come from the dialogue.  In particular Carolyn Jones, who must have the most beautiful eyes in all cinema (well, maybe her and Maria Casares), is heart-breaking as the woman torn between love and lust and who misses all the chances she gets to establish happiness on her own terms.

Jim Backus as Dave Husack

There a few interesting credits that make the film worth seeking out for genre fans.  Jim Backus was of course the voice of Mr Magoo but he had a genuine acting career in his own right, memorably as James Dean's uncomprehending dad in REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE [1955].

Ray Danton as Bay Husack

Ray Danton, who plays Backus's scheming son, had a solidly Delirious career which you can read about at slightly greater length here.  George Takei is and always will be Sulu.

George Takei as Wang